


Under the Influence

by junko



Series: Chasing Demons [28]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Collars, M/M, Negotiations, Power Dynamics, Power Imbalance, Rape/Non-con References, frank discussions of sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-26
Updated: 2012-12-26
Packaged: 2017-11-22 12:33:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/609866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junko/pseuds/junko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After being socially ambushed by Captains Ukitake and Kyouraku, a somewhat inebriated Byakuya decides that he and Renji might have a few things that need discussing after all...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Under the Influence

Byakuya had to negotiate the stairs very carefully. Even though he’d warned Captain Ukitake about it, he’d forgotten just how potent the muroka could be; its sweetness was deceptive. 

Deceptive.

Indeed, it seemed to Byakuya that he might have been ambushed by the captains in a way he wasn’t expecting. All this talk about Renji. It was almost as if they thought the lieutenant was in need of rescue. He wasn’t, was he? And, if he were, from what, exactly? 

Byakuya discovered he’d paused unintentionally on the stairs, leaning heavily against the wall. It appeared that in this state he couldn’t think and walk at the same time. Best concentrate on forward motion at the moment, then. After all, Renji waited on him in the master suite. 

They could talk about this together. Ukitake seemed to think that talk was the only answer… to whatever on earth the problem was.

#

Byakuya discovered Renji sprawled, passed out, on the master bed. He’d taken the time to set Zabimaru aside, propped carefully against the wall with customary care. Apparently, Renji had lasted a few minutes sitting upright, because his stocking feet were still firmly planted on the floor. The rest of him seemed to have collapsed backwards in a jumble—one arm flung over his face, the other off at an angle. Under his head, his topknot looked like an untidy pile of the leaves of a burning bush in autumn. He snored.

He also smelled of cheap beer.

Byakuya kicked one his legs to the side lightly, and sat down heavily beside him on the bed. 

“Hey, there you are,” Renji said pleasantly, as though he hadn’t been sound asleep. He pulled himself upright with a groan and an arm on the footboard, like he was climbing it, “Took you long enough. I might even be half-way sober by now. I had time for a serious micro-nap.”

Byakuya pulled Senbonzakura out and set it across the pillows for the moment. He frowned up at Renji. They sat close enough that their knees touched and Byakuya found himself sagging towards Renji’s weight on the mattress, “So what is our problem?”

“Huh?” Renji rubbed his face, as though trying to bush away sleep cobwebs. Then he set his hand on the other side of Byakuya’s hip, and Byakuya found he could lean into it comfortably, so he did. Renji smiled at that. “What problem?”

“That’s what I want to know,” Byakuya said somewhat petulantly. His hand automatically reached to smooth the wrinkles in the thigh of Renji’s hakama. “I believe I was just given a lecture on proper sexual relations with a subordinate by Captains Kyōraku and Ukitake, and I’m not sure why.”

Renji snorted a laugh, “That’s better than getting schooled by a fifteen year old virgin. At least the captains probably weren’t slugging back strawberry milk while doling out their expert advice.”

“Indeed. It must be serious if Ichigo Kurosaki has weighed in,” Byakuya sighed, stopping his ministrations, but leaving his hand on Renji’s leg, enjoying the warmth of their bodies together. “Possibly the entire fate of the universe is in our hands. Only, I have no idea what we’re meant to be fixing.”

Renji scratched his chin and shifted a little. “Uh, well…”

Byakuya glanced curiously at Renji, who suddenly wouldn’t meet his gaze. Byakuya squeezed his thigh lightly, but insistently, “You must tell me. I can’t have that buffoon Kyōraku knowing more about our situation than I do.” When Renji continued to hesitate, he added, “Please. I want to know, especially if I’ve done something wrong.”

Renji squinted, briefly catching his eye. “You know, maybe we should get naked first.”

Byakuya arched a suggestive eyebrow, “Do you really think that would be more conducive to conversation?”

“Heh, I always feel more relaxed naked,” he smiled lasciviously. But, Renji finally held Byakuya gaze steadily as he said, “But, in all seriousness, I was just thinking this isn’t the sort of conversation to have in uniform, is it? And, you know, it could take some time. We might want to be comfortable, all snuggled in.”

Oh. Not comfortable in uniform. Was this one of those boundaries? Good gods, perhaps he really didn’t have the first clue. “Right,” Byakuya said, untangling himself from Renji carefully. He stood on wobbly feet and quickly said, “I believe Eishirō has found some space for your robe in my mother’s dresser. I’ll change and be right back.”

Byakuya scrambled from the room feeling uncustomarily vulnerable and uncertain. 

In a moment, he stood in front of the cedar cabinet in the dressing room. Slowly, Byakuya fingered the various sleeping kimono options before him. Eishirō had already lain out something in a dark blue, but it seemed awfully somber. Then again, maybe he should go with something plain and uninteresting. After all, if things went badly, he wouldn’t want to ruin a favorite with a bad memory. 

Byakuya smiled at the collection of ugly ‘gift’ kimono that lay folded off to one side that Eishirō had brought out of storage. His hand lingered on a hot pink kimono covered in large neon green lizards. Who’d even given him such a hideous thing? It had to be destroyed! Perhaps he could convince Renji to have a repeat of the other night. That had been fun… hadn’t it? Byakuya frowned; hating the sudden uncertainty that clutched his gut. 

Regardless, he’d have to leave that one for later. If he wore it, it would be clear his intentions had nothing to do with serious conversation. And, as difficult a prospect as it was, Byakuya did want to talk. He couldn’t stand this sense of not knowing where he stood with Renji. The idea that Renji might be deeply unhappy made Byakuya feel unbalanced and unsettled… and not just from the alcohol.

He continued to hesitate over the choices. His mind spinning with questions about what Renji was going to say. Things had been going well, hadn’t they? Besides everything with Hana/Hisana, of course, but the birthday… had Byakuya read it completely wrong? The leash, the classroom… they had been Renji’s ideas, as was the sex shop. Byakuya had been thinking of those moments not only fondly, but also as watersheds of a sort. They’d been making progress, hadn’t they? 

Or… was Renji about to pull the rug out. Say he didn’t feel the same way after all, that none of it was to his taste?

Byakuya was so lost in thought that he never even sensed Renji’s approach until strong arms encircled his waist and lips were at his ear. Long hair, unbound, tickled Byakuya’s cheek. “You could always wear the amber one with the hummingbirds.”

“Should I?” he asked, his voice hardly more than a hoarse whisper. “That’s had mixed results.”

“I think you’re stunning in it,” Renji murmured, his lips nibbling. “But naked is good too.”

“Hmmm,” Byakuya leaned his head back to rest against Renji, “I thought we were going to talk.”

“We could do that… after.”

His hot breath sent a shiver down Byakuya’s spine. It was such a tempting offer with Renji’s body so close, pressing from behind--but what then? Would they really pick up the discussion in the morning? Or would things continue until they unraveled without Byakuya ever knowing what could have saved them…? “No,” he managed. “Talk first, then sex.”

Renji groaned, loosening his grip dejectedly, “C’mon. Sex is so much easier.”

“Exactly,” Byakuya turned around to face him. He was, of course, completely nude, and hadn’t bothered with his robe, at all. In fact, Renji started to move in for a kiss, but Byakuya put a firm hand on his chest to stop him. Byakuya had to work very hard not to be distracted by the dark lines of the tattoos; they were like a siren call to lips and fingers. “You have something to say. I want to hear it.”

“Okay,” Renji said with an air of resolve. His hands reached for the obi at Byakuya’s waist. With his head bowed so that all that Byakuya could see were the wild, unbound strands of ruby red hair sticking out in every direction, he began to untie it. “We should probably talk about the alley.”

Byakuya froze, hardly able to breathe. 

Renji continued to undress him as though he were Byakuya’s valet. He gently pulled the shitage and kosode from the hakama as he formulated his thoughts. Finally, Renji said, “Rukia made me realize that night probably wasn’t so much about you and me, as you and Zabimaru…” he paused to look up at Byakuya then, “Or, maybe… you, me, and Zabimaru.”

Byakuya had regretted the alley almost immediately afterward. It had been a desperate move that in retrospect was clearly misguided. At the time, however, it was the only thing Byakuya had known to do. It was not as unreasonable as it might have seemed. After all, the demon had been subdued by aggressive sex before, on that first, fateful night after they’d gone to retrieve Rukia from the Human World. Submission tamed the beast, and Byakuya had thought it might the man as well…

And, it almost seemed to have, but it was clear that nothing had been right between them after that. Byakuya realized instantly that he’d pushed things too far, had asked for too much subservience, and had, in point of fact, actually broken something in Renji.

Renji continued to strip clothes from him, until he stood as naked as Renji. The night air was cool on his bare skin. He watched Renji warily. Renji seemed to be focusing on playing the part of the valet, taking the time to fold up his uniform and set it aside—made only a little ridiculous by the fact that he was a lumbering, naked man with tattoos nearly covering his entire body.

But… such a beautiful, decent man, not deserving of being laid so low by the alley—by Byakuya’s pride and… fear.

An apology had just formed on Byakuya’s lips, when Renji pulled the dark amber kimono from the cabinet and held it out to him, saying, “I’m sorry about that one night, you know, when we came back. I think… I think that messed us up.”

“Perhaps,” Byakuya agreed, allowing Renji to help him into the kimono, “But, the alley was my mistake, as was the library.”

Renji seemed momentarily startled. His mouth opened, but he didn’t say anything. Instead, he continued to adjust Byakuya’s kimono. 

“How much do you remember of that first night?” Byakuya asked him, when Renji came around to the front to tie up the sash. 

Renji shrugged, “Eh, bits and pieces, mostly sense impressions of the fight—cutting Rukia, slicing up Ishida, the back and forth with Ichigo, and you putting an end to everything. I remember the color of the night sky, the electric lights, the scent of sweat and fear, and the taste of steel and blood. I… remember being really hungry after, but not for.…” Renji’s jaw flexed, “Well, I guess you know what I was craving.”

Except it hadn’t been that simple. Sex would have been one thing, but the demon hadn’t released its hold on Renji without a terrible fight. Renji/Zabimaru had torn up the captain’s quarters all the while spewing hateful, angry words… words Renji clearly didn’t remember uttering. “I take it you don’t recall your ultimatum?”

Having finished the bow, Renji stepped back. He seemed to search his mind for a moment and then his face paled. He looked out the window, almost as if he wished he could escape out it. His shoulders slumped, but he didn’t deny it. His voice was unusually flat, almost emotionless. “I told you I’d rape you if you didn’t subdue me. I… I’m pretty sure I tried, too.”

“The actual words were much more… descriptive. I believe you said you’d ram your cock up my lily-white ass and hammer me while I screamed for mercy,” Byakuya recited as Renji flinched with each word. “But, yes, that’s the gist of it. I’m afraid I didn’t take you seriously. Moreover, I underestimated the strength of the demon. It only capitulated after I utterly humiliated it. It was a… surprising incident, and I began to think that was the only way it could be controlled…” Byakuya faltered. Then, he drew himself up with a deep breath and met Renji’s deeply ashamed eyes, “Even so, that doesn’t excuse the alley or the library. You weren’t possessed by the demon those nights. I thought you were close to being overwhelmed the night of the alley, and I was afraid I was losing you—losing control of you. But, I hurt and humiliated you, Renji. I never meant to do that.”

Renji continued to stare out the window, a myriad of emotions twisting his expression. “Yeah, you were trying to hurt the demon. But that’s just it, isn’t it? You can’t control Zabimaru. Only I can.”

“That’s how it’s supposed to work,” Byakuya said quietly. “But is it true? Can you?”

“I don’t know. I was starting to with Ikkaku…” He stopped abruptly. Crossing his arms in front of his chest, he frowned out the window at the deep moonless night and the bright stars. “But after all this…. Fuck. I’m never going to be able to convince you, am I?”

Actually, he had begun to. 

Renji had remained himself through some very harrowing fights. He’d never reverted to that hyper-crazed mania that Zabimaru seemed to give him that night in the Human World.

The only detail that remained disturbing was Renji’s bankai—he was the only shinigami who was changed by his zanpakutō during it. His outfit transformed quite dramatically. Byakuya suspected the reason behind it had something to do with the closeness between Renji and Zabimaru… this ability of theirs to merge. 

The only other person that happened to was Ichigo Kurosaki, who was not Academy trained and who seemed to be the exception to every rule. But this similarity to Kurosaki was somewhat discomforting considering Kurosaki’s secret… was there something about Zabimaru that was truly demonic, almost Hollow-like, and was it that thin line between the worlds that affected both of them during bankai? Made them more susceptible to being changed by their tainted zanpakutō?

Or… maybe it was simply the sign of an immature bankai.

Byakuya could hope for the latter. 

“Perhaps,” Byakuya offered, “We could train together.”

Renji turned then, his eyes bright and hopeful for a moment, but then, his face crumpled into a deep scowl, “You want to take on the demon? On a regular-basis? You really think that would be good for us?”

“I do,” Byakuya said, having decided. This was one of those boundaries they could work to establish. Perhaps if the demon stayed on the training ground, it would no longer haunt them in the bedroom. Maybe, too, if Byakuya forced himself to face it, it would no longer terrify him. “At any rate, I’ve already seen its worst. Besides, if you wish to demonstrate your ability to control it, how better than for me to see you do so first hand?”

Renji seemed to come-around, albeit reluctantly. His arms unwound, though his face didn’t entirely relax, “I guess it’s not like we don’t already know you can beat me.”

Oh. Here was another moment. But, unlike the previous conversation, Byakuya felt uncertain about how to discuss the thorny problem of their power differential. The fact was that he was the stronger of the two, and it had been proven in the battlefield quite dramatically.

But, Renji flashed his mischievous, toothy half-smile, “But, this way, I get a chance to study your methods. Maybe finally get closer to my ultimate goal.”

“Oh? Is it still the same?”

Renji closed the distance between them. Byakuya expected to be swept into a kiss, but Renji very tenderly clasped his hands in his. “It is,” Renji lifted Byakuya’s hand to his lips. “But, I kind of feel weird saying I want to conquer you, because I really want to growl it in your ear in a sexy way and drag us both back to the bed. But… you know, maybe that’s not so cool right now.” 

Because he thinks I’m afraid of him? Byakuya raised a thin eyebrow. “We do have a collar.”

Renji’s smile grew even wickeder, “Yeah, we do, don’t we?”

Even as Renji led Byakuya by the hand back toward the bedroom, it occurred to Byakuya that maybe this was one of the last thing they should discuss. But this was even more uncomfortable territory than anything they’d talked about previously. He wasn’t even sure how to broach things. Perhaps it was best to attempt to be direct and straight-forward. Thus, when Renji drew him down on to the bed, he asked, “Are you satisfied with… this?”

“This?” Renji repeated with a broad grin, “Me laying on the bed and you not kissing me or anything yet? No.”

Even as Renji tried to tighten his grip on Byakuya’s arms, Byakuya pulled away. He left a complaining Renji on the bed for the moment and went over to his mother’s dresser. He pulled out the leather collar with its studs and spikes and chains. He held it out to show Renji, “I mean this.”

Renji had propped himself up on his elbows to see what Byakuya was doing. Unruly strands of hair spilled over his face. But, otherwise, he lay there with his body open and available, as though on display. He really seemed to have no shame at all in his nakedness, with one leg bent and slightly open, drawing the eye to that shock of red between his legs. Byakuya envied this cocky vulnerability Renji had; he really did seem more comfortable naked.

He didn’t seem entirely at ease with what was in Byakuya’s hand, however. “Oh. That,” he said with a little nervous swallow. But he smiled wanly, “I’m… good. Like, I said before, I’m flexible. I’m always up for anything. I mean, okay, this stuff is all new to me, but… well, it’s not like it’s not working, right?” He let out a long breath and shrugged his broad shoulders. “Listen, I’ll be completely honest. I just want to have sex with you. If you said we needed to do it standing on our heads reciting koan, I’d start memorizing that shit right now and working on my balance.”

Renji had such an interesting way of flattering a person. Byakuya smiled none-the-less. “But,” Byakuya came over to sit on the edge of the bed. Chains clanked together as Byakuya set the collar down beside him on the mattress. He noticed that, at some point, Renji had moved Senbonzakura to its holder on the wall above the pillows. “Isn’t that… unfair? Surely there’s something you want? Something that would… even out our experience?”

Renji lifted himself up on his arms to steal a kiss. “I really want to stop talking soon.”

“Besides that,” Byakuya teased fondly, pushing him lightly back onto the bed. He reached out to smooth a strand of hair from Renji’s narrow face. Byakuya’s fingers stayed, however, and began tracing the lines of the tattoos on his forehead, trying to smooth out the frown, “Renji, I really think this may be important for… long-term success.”

“Long-term, eh?” Renji smiled, flopping all the way back onto the pillows. He captured Byakuya hand and brought it to his mouth. He began nibbling and sucking fingertips thoughtfully. “Snuggling,” he said once he’d reached Byakuya’s pinkie. “I’m a big softie at the end of the day, okay? I don’t care what we do for the main event, but after—I hated getting kicked out. Really hated it. I want cuddles, damn it.”

“I see,” Byakuya said wryly, “Your big demand is cuddling? You’re a tough negotiator, Renji Abarai.”

Sitting up, Renji used his teeth lightly on Byakuya’s knuckles. “Pretty smug from the guy I nearly killed with a hug.”

“It’s true,” Byakuya said sincerely, running his hand along the curve of Renji’s shoulders and bicep, his fingertips pausing at each tiger stripe. How rough the tattoos were in places, was that some by-product of the process or did they hide scars? “I’m not very practiced in the art of ‘snuggling.’ I hope you’ll be a patient teacher.”

“Hisana wasn’t?” Renji asked, his lips were in Byakuya’s palm now, leaving feather-light sensations. His loose hairs tickled where lips did not.

Byakuya leaned in close. “Of course, but this is different.”

Renji glanced up from his ministrations. Everyone seemed surprised that Byakuya would be different with a man than he would be with a woman. It was beginning to infuriate him. What was so shocking? It seemed much stranger to Byakuya that a man would want to be treated like a woman or vice versa, particularly in the bedroom. Besides which, men and women had different needs, requirements, and social obligations--it would be insanity to treat them the same. 

Apparently, Renji decided not to comment beyond a look, because his tongue was now tracing lines on Byakuya’s wrist. Byakuya shivered slightly at the maddeningly light, slow circles. Into his flesh, Renji murmured, “Just tell me when it’s too much and you can put the collar on.”

Byakuya wanted to suggest that they could try going without, but, just then, Renji bit lightly into a tender spot on his wrist and he gasped. His fingers instantly grabbed a fist full of Renji’s hair, pulling him back. “Now,” Byakuya hissed.

Renji chuckled a little around a grunt of pain. “That was fast.”

Byakuya forced himself to let go of Renji’s hair. He tried to cover his instant arousal by explaining, “The equipment looks complicated. I’m not sure I could operate the buckles in the heat of the moment.”

“Sure,” Renji smirked.

“Hush. See if you can work it out, then,” Byakuya tossed it into his hands. 

“Where are you going?” Renji said when Byakuya stood up. 

“I thought perhaps you’d help me dispose of another unwanted gift kimono.”

Renji smiled broadly, “Gladly.”

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry to bring you right up to the brink and then stop, but I have a much easier time writing 'teh hot' from Renji's p.o.v. Also, given what was revealed about the night of 'Taming the Demon," it might be good to get inside Renji's brain a bit at this point. At any rate, all that will be coming (as it were) in the next intallment... Yes, I'm a terrible tease/punster.
> 
> Also, I realize our boys have only scratched the surface of what they need to talk about. But, turns out, Drunk-Renji is Frisky-Renji and I couldn't keep him on task, as it were. Perhaps in the morning after, he'll have more to say about it all. It will be their first attempt at snuggling, after all.


End file.
